Red Carpet Fan T-Shirts

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

Celebrity Gold

Universal Movie Awards. We've seen celebrities from the biggest starts to the brilliant meteorites arriving here at the Universal Movie Awards. There's a moon who is up for a supporting role award, and the Perseid meteor shower, which is nominated for special effects. And there's Mars, blending right into the red carpet. They all better hurry inside and take their seats. The show is about to start with the Best Picture Award. They're starting with the Best Picture Award? Of course! Out h

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Renee Zellweger as Judy Garland

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Champagne

Dead Funny

Advocado

Clown's Comedy Fart.

Clown waits for 'Happy Hour' to begin.

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"Don't move! It's as I suspected, they're attracted to clowns!"

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Masquerade

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

Juggler and Illusionist

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Clown walks balloon dog

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'