Reckless Driver Humor Pillows

"Gotta hang up. My soap's on."

"I need to tinkle."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Backseat Predators

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'I've been glamped!'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

Speed Limit

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Detour 50c.

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.

Caution: Armed Student Driver

'Hello, I'm phoning from my car '.