Reckless Driver Humor Pillows

"Gotta hang up. My soap's on."

"I need to tinkle."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Artists Impression of the first call for roadside assistance...

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Backseat Predators

Live To Crash, Crash To Live.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'I've been glamped!'

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Speed Limit

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

Detour 50c.

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

'Hello, I'm phoning from my car '.