Driving Jokes Lover Pillows

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

I break for toilet paper

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

Driving a Lemon.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'Tow trunk lifting itself..'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

Fly driving a car with little humans on the windscreen.

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.