Driving Jokes Lover Pillows

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

I break for toilet paper

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

Driving a Lemon.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

'Tow trunk lifting itself..'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

Fly driving a car with little humans on the windscreen.

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

'Automobilia Now: Lemon and Lemonaid.

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.