Recipe Testing Pillows

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Cookbooks

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Before/After

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

In the DNA Kitchen

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Diet considerations.'

Blog Breakdown

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

Cooking with Wine: "Oops! Almost split some in the food."