Reading Recipes Pillows

' 'Reduce wine in pan by half,'--I believe you can do it by turning up the heat.'

Eve's Gourmet Apple Recipes (snake with apple in its mouth).

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

In the DNA Kitchen

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Vegetable Cook

'Men's cooking'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Culinary surgery.

Witches of Instagram

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."