Reading Recipes T-Shirts

' 'Reduce wine in pan by half,'--I believe you can do it by turning up the heat.'

Eve's Gourmet Apple Recipes (snake with apple in its mouth).

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

In the DNA Kitchen

Vegetable Cook

'Men's cooking'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Culinary surgery.

Witches of Instagram

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.