Recipe Making Pillows

'...mix porridge oats, butter, and golden syrup...Rurghh!...then bake for fifteen minutes'?! Oh well, maybe next lifetime, Delia...'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Wouldn't it taste better if you used Bestershire sauce?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Before/After

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Baker Romance

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

In the DNA Kitchen

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Surprise in the salad bowl