Recipe Tester Pillows

'Back off wolf dude! I'm on my way to Grandma's for a focus group on her new porridge recipes!'

Banana recipe

"I expect you're all really pleased I took-up 'proper cooking' during the COVID-19 lockdown!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Before/After

Harsh Mellows.

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Baker Romance

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

In the DNA Kitchen

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The Inexperienced Cook

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."