Recipe Racketeer Pillows

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Lockdown casserole

In the DNA Kitchen

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Blog Breakdown

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Recipes.

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"