Recipe Raconteur Pillows

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

Witches of Instagram

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"I had half a date last weekend."

"House red, sir?"

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"I'll need a three iron."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Road Kill Cafe.

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

Social butterfly

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'