Recession-ready Realist Gifts

The Circle.

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

Recession

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

For sale

White House Garage Sale.

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

"I'm not particular, I'll take any job that will replace a human."

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

"Financial Adviser advises client 'I advise you that you're broke'."

Federal Guidelines

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

Squeezing a tight budget...

Retirement Issues

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

"Goodbye cruel world."

US Dollar weakens.

"I can't go on reading this. . . I'm scared to death!"

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

Bad news airbag

"Any sign of recovery yet?"

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

'Look at my new overdraft its fantastic.'

"Who would have thought retirement would be this much fun."