Receiving A Work Award Pillows

"Congratulations! You've been named employee of the year and you win an all expenses paid trip around the world!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Award Winning Gardener

Soaring Profits

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Cat Show

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Alexander Fleming

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Zdeno Chara

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '