Receiving A Work Award Pillows

"Congratulations! You've been named employee of the year and you win an all expenses paid trip around the world!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Award Winning Gardener

Soaring Profits

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Win - win

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Alexander Fleming

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

Zdeno Chara

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'