Rebound Relationship Pillows

'What a lovely card.' 'Yes, and it's made from recycled paper. Which is apprpriate considering you're on the rebound.'

She - Interpreter - He.

Gary turns 40.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Dating the efficiency expert.

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

'We don't text anymore.'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

'And you must be Hank, my husband's new business partner!'

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Church Drive-Thru.

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

"Call me when you've learned how to have an adult relationship with your apartment."

'Lost my job, house repossessed, but at least I've still got you.'

Sex Games of the Married