Reboot Skeptic Pillows

"Hear me out. Batman - again."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Suggestions box in a toilet.

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

Cupid misses his shot.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

'I think he's in too much pain to answer!'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

Yes, but.

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

Editorial Control

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

Computer tech support sacred offering

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

I don't want to buy anything. I don't want to upgrade. Watch this! What are you doing? Looking at an ad for the new Mac laptop. My heart's not racing! What's wrong with me?! It is sleek.

Second Thoughts Wedding

"It would never work out- we're from two totally different tiers of the upper middle class."

"I wish your temperature told the real truth about you."

"Just saying, if you can't trust your software upgrades, what can you trust?"

"Of course I don't love you - why d'you keep asking?"

'According to the voice-stress analyzer, he's not going to lower taxes.'

"Arrows won't work on him. Use a taser."

'Is this a trick question?'

"It was love at first sight, except for his ringtone."