Reason Guru Pillows

'Well, that's what we get for listening to reason.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

Punctuation Police

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

The best financial decision I ever made.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'The Questioner'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

Dating an English Major

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

A Day In The Kitchen

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Stick them up...'

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."