Common Sense Guru Pillows

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

We're looking at better ways to share our knowledge & expertise. But I'm not going to tell you what they are.'

''Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense' Thomas Huxley, 1825-1895.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?

Man rolling ball up a hill

How long have you been delusional?

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

'Just a tip, never be the bearer of bad news - people will automatically blame you for it...'

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

"Your results are excellent and the quality of observed lessons was very high, however we're worried by an e-mail from Mrs Miggin's hairdresser who thinks you should teach 'a bit more common sense'. . ."

What Dads Are Made of,,,

Actually, I'm not really a guru...

"It's our view that this two-tier system is unfair and divisive."

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

"I can't believe school starts next week."

'In my experience, common sense is far from common. . .'

"Baldo, we all learn from our mistakes. When I played baseball, a fly ball popped up right above me. If I caught it, we'd win...if I dropped it, we'd lose."

"Son, just remember one thing. Never pee on the invisible fence."

'You ever notice how much bigger we are than everyone else? I mean, does it make me awful if I think that's really cool?'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

'Well, that's what we get for listening to reason.'

'Bill eventually came to regret selling his sole to the Devil.'

Open At Other End.

"You're work might be free, but based on the quality, it's not pro bono."

Reincarnation? It's like getting canceled, but going into syndication right away.

"A man in my position makes enemies..."

'Dear, it's better to light a candle than curse the nation's crumbling electrical grid.'

Life Hacks

"Add three drops of potassium nitrate, wait ten minutes, and stir vigorously."

"This is going to be a bad one isn't it?"

"Actually, Jim, my lawyer won't let me give advice to young people starting out."

"I need an interpreter. Send in someone who speaks jargon."

Always wear your helmet on site.