Reality Tv Escapist Gifts

Turn off the tv! Blasphemy. I have Extreme Partisanship Syndrome. I can't hear about politics. I get too riled up. It could kill me. No more Fox, or MSNBC, or even the networks. Fine, but there are other options. Can't this kill me too? Just the mind. Tonight on Biggest Loser: Jog eating.

The search continues for weapons of mass distraction.

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

'Where do you expect to see yourself in five lifetimes?'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

But doc, my tenuous grasp of reality is what gets me through the day!

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

"Not again!"

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

American Idle

"I think my life would have been played better set against a Roaring Twenties or Civil War background."

Dangerous tax audits.

Message in a bottle.

'Joyce, you've gotta see this! This 3-D large screen HD TV is amazing!'

No, I distinctly heard a "soo-wee" ringtone.

"Log into nature"

A giveaway tan line...

Psychaitry. "Put me in touch with reality"? --- But I've heard bad things about reality!

They were out of bagels...

A people-meter family out enjoying the calm night breezes while claiming to be inside enjoying a rerun of 'Falcon Crest.'"

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'