Reality Observer T-Shirts

'Just taking a few wall photos.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Tiny Visions

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Truth

Life and Death

Complexity Made Simple.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

Magic Act

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

"All of my friends are imaginary."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

'You're King Kong? You look bigger in the movies.'

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Your sister got another promotion."

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?