Reality Investigator T-Shirts

Complexity Made Simple.

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Of course I'm aware of reality! I mean, we met in St. Thomas, got engaged in Austria, announced it in London and now we're getting married in the Flatbush Jewish Center!"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

Truth

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

'Biggest damn virus I've ever seen!'

"This is not good at all!"

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

University of Hard Knocks

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

Fingerprint Show

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

Two men converse secretively

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

'Don't give up the day job...'

The back of the Taj Mahal.

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud