Retail Reality Observer T-Shirts

For service, ring bell ONCE, then...

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything's gone up."

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

'I saw the school nurse put that sign up.'

'Sale' 'Your money back if we feel like it'

"Listen, Baldo, I know what you're thinking...but as part of the management team, I can say with all confidence that your job is safe."

"Attention, shoppers. We have a lost boomer at the information desk."

"We need to reduce our overheads."

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'Don't think of it as just another supermarket, think of it as a retail theme park.'

The customer is always right, but that fact has no standing in law.

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

'Went straight to the top a week after 'Customer Care' started.'

'I've come down for a lie down - I've been in retail therapy.'

Holiday Dollar.

Man sees Grim Reaper and angrily points to a sign which reads: No Hoodies.

God at the shopping mall...

"Boy, the farmers market has really changed."

'I'm a good shopper. I know how to find bargains. I think it's genetic. My mother always said that when she married dad, she got a real bargain.'

Directions.

Complaints: 'And another thing...!'

"If you want all our money in a plastic bag then I have tocharge you for the bag. Do you wish to pay cash or with card?"

"We're closed!"

'Any investment objective is just to keep up with tht price of gas and prescription drugs.'

"The retail environment helps a conventional practice like ours compete with the retail clinics popping up everywhere."

"Water is on sixteen."