Real Estate Skeptic Pillows

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Mouse real estate!

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

'We finally got a response to our House For Sale sign. The wind blew it down.'

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

For Sale by Non-Owners.

"We're going to use the 6.4 million pounds to purchase a terraced in a run down area of Huddersfield."

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'

"Ah yes, 'The Three Little Pigs', a cautionary tale of insufficient real estate market analysis."

New HOSTILE Mortgage Company

Ceiling collapse 'Don't worry, that's just settlement.'

"It's the artist's impression of our proposed new housing development."

'We did have a house in your bracket, but we sold it in 1932.'

Indian burial ground.

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

"Your mother is receiving top quality care and attention."

'In return for storing the nuclear waste, we get a big break on the mortgage.'

'And the 4th bedroom?'

Property Management (Scam) Company

Vulture

Bank Owned

"Well one step down from our 'Luxury Executive Mansion' is our 'crap terrace with outside loo'."

"How do ya like that? They rejected our request that they build the new stadium out here!"

Estate Agent trying to rip off client by charging three times the rent.

House for Sale. Meth sanitized for a quick sale!