Real Estate Rookies Gifts

I'll take it!

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"I've invested in property..."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

TV show is called Repossesion Repossession. Man says: 'I see the property shows are reacting to the economic downturn.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Emigrating to France.

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Who Let the Dawg In?

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

America's funniest investment scams