Real Estate Jargon Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

Emigrating to France.

Mouse real estate!

'I told my wife to run the house like a business. So she sold it to an American corporation.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

America's funniest investment scams