Real Ale Gifts

Landlord checking money, Customer checking ale

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

Guest Beers/Guest Urinal

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Beer Stall

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Beers

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Happy thoughts

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

'I've found a way to improve on light beer!'

Mars Rover - 'They are right, men are from mars.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."