Craft Ales Gifts

Happy thoughts

"Sorry mate, you're not coming in without any proof of beard."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade beer?'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Beer Stall

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Joined at the hipster.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Bottle Distillery

"Fetch me another Sculpin IPA."

'Malty tasking.'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

California Beverages Map

Ernie is a master brewer! He's highly skilled in every phase of the beer-making process! Business is booming at our craft beer pub! Ernie, are those ladies old enough to buy beer? I didn't ask for I.D. I didn't want to violate the no "dating" the customers policy. Ernie is an absolute genius about beer, but lacks common sense about everything else! (Published originally on Nov. 8, 2015.)

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

Real Beer People

'An no one heard him scream when they screwed on the pump and slowly drained all his vital fluids...'

'I brew it myself.'

Beer Lunch

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

Cold Beers and Skiers