Ale Gifts

REAL ALE for one pint only

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

7 Dead Twits Pub & Alehouse - 'He's paying.'

'I asked for a black and tan. Instead I got a bloody miracle.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"