Ale Tasting Gifts

Beer-head

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Sauvignon Bonk

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

Picking pastries.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Bubbly