Ale Tasting T-Shirts

Beer-head

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'A cheeky red?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

Sauvignon Bonk

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Bubbly

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'