Real Ale Appreciation T-Shirts

The Joy of Kegs

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Happy thoughts

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

Surreal ale

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Wine Talking

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Well, George certainly came to Deep Camp prepared, this season.'

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

"Tap anywhere to begin."

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

The Angel's Share

Beer Lunch

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'