Reading Stories Gifts

"He may have found his mittens, but he's lost all sense of propriety."

As the Dryer Spins

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

"Hmmm...this old guy claims he found this crooked sixpence on a crooked stile while walking a crooked mile. He has a crooked cat, a crooked mouse, and they're all living in this little crooked house! Sergeant, I think we've found our crooked man!"

"The dish ran away with the spoon? -- What is this, a soap opera?"

Running in the forest

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Occu-Pie Mars

The Anti-Agent

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Let's not go by the book.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"