Reading Personal Ads Gifts

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

F1 - Quit Smoking.

"Who is the fairest of them all? Well, Madame, the answer comes right after this commercial break! Stay tuned!!"

Who Let the Dawg In?

As Seen Watching TV

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

This Space Available.

Early Sexting

Eat More Salted Nuts

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Junk Mail

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Qool - when the thirst come first.'

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

Your next cartoon will follow after these advertisements

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

"He's a genius at product placement."

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

'With my marketing savvy this place would be gold.'

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

Consumer Trends Straight Outta Kabul

"It's typical cold/flu medicine, but the extra strength advertising made me buy it."

'So you got the endorsement contract?'

'You may know us by our generations of disciplined, global investment strategies...or perhaps you like the 70's heavy metal rock band we use in our commercials...'

'I wanted my new sign to be noticeable.'

'We interrupt this program because the sponsor just went out of business!'

McTV, 'It's all singing commercials.'

"Now just say the first thing that comes into your mind."

'It appeals to greed,lust,pride,sloth and envy, but we're overlooking glottony and avarice.'