Dating Ad Collector Gifts

Personal ad: 'Cosa seeking Nostra.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Early Sexting

Romantic Coffee Dates

Junk Mail

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

"Why not try chocolate? ...and be just like the Pros!"

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

Your next cartoon will follow after these advertisements

Where Are They Now?

Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold my masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink Coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.

"None of 'em is my type. I'm sitting on my hands this year."

SWM highway patrolman in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your motorcycle.

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Did the Chinese invent junk mail?

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

Sofa King: Where our prices are sofa king low!

Russell Brand dating Geri Halliwell.

Green Bottles Sought for Wall Experiment.

A man and his cat watch tv

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

'Baxter...You're a GENIUS!!!'

'Are you the person who advertised for someone to do light housekeeping?'

'Sorry, but I never kiss on a last date.'

Shark Alarm: Never Be Late For That Frenzy Again!

'Let me see your ad again - tall, dark, well travelled, likes meeting new people.'

Well, I see you've met your match!

Two Native Americans looking at smoke signals.

'Cereal's not all that expensive -- why is everybody always trying to steal it?'

"Enough about my penis. What's new with the ol' vagina?"