Dating Profile Collector Gifts

"Hmm....who's this tall drink of water?"

"First date hairball... awkward."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

Kiss me quik dating service

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus

"Alexa, you're not quite what I was expecting!"

Any suggestions for my online profile? Don't describe your speed dating experience as "hanging out with fast women."

"It's true, of course, that I'm just a machine, but I do have a built-in vibrator."

'Your dating profile was right. You really do know how to show a girl a good time.'

When Michelle said in her dating profile that she liked men in uniform, Dewey was not what she had in mind.

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."

Personal ad: 'Cosa seeking Nostra.'

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

"He looked a lot bigger online."

'Sorry, but I never kiss on a last date.'

'Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend... profile #6310712!'

Well, I see you've met your match!

Coffee. I'm just a boring insomniac. What should I put in my online dating profile? Say you're "up for anything"!

"That's an unusual, orange jumpsuit!"

Characters Caricaturas.

Ernie, your online dating profile says you're tall, athletic and wealthy. this is the biggest joke I've ever seen! Good point, Frank. I need to add something about my great sense of humor!

"You don't look like your picture."

'Next!'

'I'm the real Kevin. This is the guy who plays me on my Facebook page.'

"Enough about my penis. What's new with the ol' vagina?"

'You know, Eno, it's ok if you lie a little on your online dating profile.'