Reading Personal Ads Prints

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

F1 - Quit Smoking.

As Seen Watching TV

"Who is the fairest of them all? Well, Madame, the answer comes right after this commercial break! Stay tuned!!"

This Space Available.

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

Early Sexting

Eat More Salted Nuts

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Junk Mail

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Qool - when the thirst come first.'

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

Your next cartoon will follow after these advertisements

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

'Thank you for picking me as your ATM machine...but before I dispense your money, here's a word from Ed's Bar & Grill...'

"He's a genius at product placement."

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

'With my marketing savvy this place would be gold.'

'It appeals to greed,lust,pride,sloth and envy, but we're overlooking glottony and avarice.'

McTV, 'It's all singing commercials.'

'You may know us by our generations of disciplined, global investment strategies...or perhaps you like the 70's heavy metal rock band we use in our commercials...'

'I wanted my new sign to be noticeable.'

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

SWM highway patrolman in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your motorcycle.

'We interrupt this program because the sponsor just went out of business!'

'So you got the endorsement contract?'

"Now just say the first thing that comes into your mind."

Want to be like 'White Fang'? Brush with Calgote!