Reading Office-related Comics Pillows

"I appreciate the goodbye party. However, I wasn't aware I was going anywhere."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Office zombie.

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"It's the new man - he wants to know what the company retirement plan is."

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

Holding the bag, inc, your corporate scapegoat.

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

'Your falback position, Petersen, is out the door.'

'You can take down your little sign, Marlene, we're switching over to computers on Monday.'