Reading Office-related Comics T-Shirts

"I appreciate the goodbye party. However, I wasn't aware I was going anywhere."

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

"Good boy, what a good boy. You're hired."

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'And this is the computer that sends out our final demands.'

Cog-In-The-Wheel

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Office zombie.

"You've been replaced by a new AI program, but we can keep you on until it's finished it's vacation."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

"In order to raise some working capital, the company has sold your souls to the devil"

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"It's the new man - he wants to know what the company retirement plan is."

In and Out Trays

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Holding the bag, inc, your corporate scapegoat.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

"No, son, there's no severance package."

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'