Reading Master Gifts

'Idle gossip, nothing! I've worked hard on it!'

'What does it say, Dad?'

Sphinx Comes Alive

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'You're texting? Wait--'

Suddenly Paul realised that HE had been the odd one out all along.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"But this book is just the alphabet all jumbled up..."

"There are exceptions. Sometimes it's possible to have buzz without any hype whatsoever."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'She could've given me a point or two for originality.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"You sure know how to talk to sales clerks!"

Here's a brain teaser: Is it possible to be enlightened and not know it?

Printing Room

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'Oh, the irony! Just guess who gave me the welfare check I bought this sign with!'

'Whoa! Time out. The loud guy in the white shirt is right - that was a ball. My mistake. Sorry everyone. Thank you, sir.'

How Much Wood could a Woodchuck Chuch?

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

The shining light of open-source software.

The Diligent Student

Computer shows code violation to wierd user.

Mensa - if you can't work out where you are you shouldn't be here.

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

'About half the students increased speed and lost some comprehension. The other half increased comprehension but lost some speed.'

Boy, this cold medicine works great.

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'