Reading Fairytales Gifts

"You kissed me without my consent and woke me up from the best nap ever - and I'm supposed to be grateful?"

'The premium is on the high side, but this policy allows you unlimited 'Nibbling Children' claims.'

"Some of your colleagues have described your demeanor as 'gruff'."

Seven dwarfs sing at bus stop in the pouring rain, to the annoyance of another commuter.

"We met when I needed a frog to dissect an biology class."

"...and here you claimed a deduction of seventy-two thousand coins for hairstyling?"

'You're right, you do have a nicer arse than Snow White.'

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'Yes, I'm Cinderella, but I wasn't at the ball last night, I was busy texting my friends.'

Goldilocks Sail Emporium

"A princess marry a frog? Doesn't sound like sexual equality to me!"

The Huff & Vape

Where wood shavings come from.

Humpty Dumpty sat in a bath.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

Swan Fairy Tales

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Puss in cement boots"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."