Reading Fairytales Gifts

"You kissed me without my consent and woke me up from the best nap ever - and I'm supposed to be grateful?"

'The premium is on the high side, but this policy allows you unlimited 'Nibbling Children' claims.'

"Some of your colleagues have described your demeanor as 'gruff'."

Seven dwarfs sing at bus stop in the pouring rain, to the annoyance of another commuter.

"We met when I needed a frog to dissect an biology class."

"...and here you claimed a deduction of seventy-two thousand coins for hairstyling?"

'You're right, you do have a nicer arse than Snow White.'

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

'Yes, I'm Cinderella, but I wasn't at the ball last night, I was busy texting my friends.'

Goldilocks Sail Emporium

"A princess marry a frog? Doesn't sound like sexual equality to me!"

The Huff & Vape

Where wood shavings come from.

Humpty Dumpty sat in a bath.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Swan Fairy Tales

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

A Fairytale Update

The tooth fairy.

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Puss in cement boots"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'