Reading About The Universe Gifts

"We matter!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

The Big Tipper

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

"I told you it was a book you couldn't put down."

"What's that, girl? Melting ice are shifting water systems causing fish to change habitats, threatening coastal communities with rising sea levels, and causing permafrost in the Arctic to release more greenhouse gas?"

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

We're With Stupid

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

"Dad, tell us a scary meteorite story."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"It's a sci-fi-nance- when the DOW is 100,000."

'Careful! A spark could start a new universe.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

"I knew it!"

"How may I be of service?"

"What's the first thing you remember?" "Why do you ask?" "Because it'll help the cosmologists." "Come again?" "Cosmologists have discovered a lot about the universe. In 1990, they discovered cosmic microwaves are 'black body radiation.'" "What that means is, they discovered the microwave radiation that fills the universe conforms exactly to a pattern known as a 'black body spectrum' that was predicted by models of the Big Bang." "English!!!" "They proved the Big Bang happened." "But one of the b

God creating the galaxy.

Crouching God Hidden Buddha

The fifth generation computer thinking it over- 'Now that there gone I'll get to work on the sixth generation.'

"Wow, it almost makes me feel as insignificant as an unpaid internship."

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

The Incredible Shrinking Room