Re-hirement Gifts

'I looked forward to retirement. Now, thanks to the economy, I'm looking at re-hirement.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

Danger Slow Sand.

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

Hand sanitizer

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"I take it this is your first interview since the start of lockdown?"

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'Sorry, but we need someone willing to evolve.'

"Hope you like working here. You'll find this place runs like clockwork!"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!" "I want to go back to work." "But my son is still so young. I'd have to send him to preschool or day care. And then most of my salary would go to pay for that. So what should I do?" "You should do what we did in my day: Have six more kids and then let them all fend for themselves!" "If your eldest isn't a strong leader, it may get a little 'Lord of the Flies'-ish, but that builds character!" "...in the survivors."

"Oh, stop hyperventilating! You went on vacation to relax, remember?"

"I left this company to pursue a cause greater than myself. I'm returning because I couldn't find one."

"If someone hugs me my first day back, I'm going to just break into pieces."

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

'It's OK to take your work home with you. It's not OK to bring your home to work with you.'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

Working mother

"But first let's all congratulate Ted on his return to work."

Coronavirus – Keep Calm and Carry on

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

"Tim hasn't felt comfortable coming back into the office but he has sent some of his thoughts."