Raptor Ruminator Gifts

Philosoraptors

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

An epiphany is the sudden realization of essential meaning. An "explanation point"!

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'I can't help it, I love the taste of rabbit.'

"I think...therefore I am. I think."

'I am glad I never caught any rabbits! I've been living off the royalties ever since!'

"I really like smart women."

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

Velocirappers

"You get your seven cats, I get my red-tailed hawk."

The Browntail Craptor

"Clever girl."

'He didn't buy us as pets, he bought us as pet-food: He has a snake!'

"My psychiatrist advised me to pay taxes quarterly. That way my seething resentment is spread evenly over a year."

'yes, it's a gold nugget: We'd better hide it quick or else humans will come and ruin our river...'

'Yes, most humans call us pests or vermin, but a few of them love us as pets...'

"He doesn't seem to be accepting retirement too well."

'Your 401k doesn't look a day over 20.'

Falconry

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

"So make me an offer."

Ok, ok, just take two things.

Poker game called off due to family emergency. ? ?

Taking out the trash

"Construction. Expect delays Jan 1 - Dec 31."

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

"The salesman was right, a carpet with a darker colour will hide all manner of sins."

Aa falconer looses his arm to his peregrine falcon.

'Dude, it's pizza. Again! I don't know whether to leave them a Chinese takeout menu, or just trash the place.'

Extreme birdwatching accessory - the Hawk Feeder.

"How are people at my reunion going to recognize me? I look in the mirror and even I don't recognize me."