Rank-n-file Humor Fan Gifts

'Field Marshall chairman, if you don't mind.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Can do...No can do

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Organization is not rocket science!

The Rubber Ball Company

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

10 K Tail-Chase

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."