Rank Chaser Gifts

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Oh, I can't complain"

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

Dragon Graph

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

No caption

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'