Ratings Chaser Gifts

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Oh, I can't complain"

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

Dragon Graph

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"This is where things started getting really weird."

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'