Ratings Chaser Pillows

Sir, bad news. I don't like getting bad news. A new radio program called Ask Sadie is getting huge ratings. Do I own it? That's the bad news. I see. Time to buy Ask Sadie. Queue sinister music. Can you guess?

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Oh, I can't complain"

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Dragon Graph

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'