Record Chaser Gifts

'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'

'Wow, a new personal best: You held your breath for 10mn 46s!'

'Hello, Book of World Records? My husband would like to know what the record is for continuous farts?'

Crowd await return of a round the world yachtsman. PC asks 'Expecting someone, are we?'

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

Linford Christie

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

"Well, I'm not breaking any records. How about you?"

"Great...ski jumping world record...the media will love me...the fans will love me...and so will the doping control officers..."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Cimafunk

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Breakthrough

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Oh, I can't complain"

Dragon Graph

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"Stanley, this is a historic moment. We've discovered the world's longest kiss. Guinness Book of Records here we come!"