Leaderboard Chaser Gifts

"I'm afraid George won't be in today. He's about to get a repetitive strain injury."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

ACME Balloon Company.

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Breakthrough

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'And right here they merged...'

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Dragon Graph

'How fast can you hype?'

No caption

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

Strive to win!

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'And you'll be pleased to notice, sir, that we had to eliminate the top of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Happy Champion

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'