Ranch Owner Gifts

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

Use your imagination.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Cow duel.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

Ok, I'll put in the hundred thousand for a 50% share of your St. George franchise.

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

Bumper Stickers on a Cowboy's Horse

Ranch Dressing

"The boss use to herd cattle before he started the company."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

Cowboy Slippers

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Here comes the pimp.'

'It's your coach, sir. He's here to request that you drop down and give him 60 push-ups...'

'They had a lot more authority on horses, don't you think? It's hard to take them seriously on those things.'

"Actually, these are more valuable than the golden ones now."

"This is great. This could be franchised."

'I don't feel at home on the range any more!'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

Class Reunion. Back in school, Ernie was the world's biggest Beatle fan! For the reunion, he's written songs about some of our classmates. There's a cheesemaker

'He's on steeroids.'

"You're wearing it backwards."

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

'Well any Pal o' yours is a pal o' mine.'

"Oh my gosh, you're RIGHT! The boundary between our franchise territories is 54th Street! I'm so sorry, guy! My fault entirely!"

"The working conditions don't bother me half so much as the retirement plan."

Cowboy with hat out Title: 'Homeless on the Range'