Ramadan Gifts

Beggars on the street.

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Chase me, chase me cows.

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

Gerald Ratner's return

Engineer on the move.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

2pm meet your Creator

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

London merchant telling a young employee that if he does not change his behaviour his career will go badly and he may end up becoming mayor

'I know it's the truth, but on this promo for our site, do you think we should use the promo code 'desperation?''

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

Internet Shoplifting