Railway Signalman Gifts

Railway Signalman

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

The next fast train has gone.

You Are Here...Your Nearest Wi-FI Signal Is Here.

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Coupler Counselling

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

Train Driver Dad's Bedtime Story

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

A signaller directing pallbearers

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

Pound sign on rail tracks.

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

No Hand Signals

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

'Hello?...still there?...yeah, sorry, I just had to move to get a better signal.'

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

"Luckily, these new life rafts come with a phone, charger and a cell tower."

Phone Signal Problems: "Can you hear me now?"

"I can't understand why you're getting no signal down here? There's plenty of Hotspots!"

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"Try S instead of L."